Packing Theory

Posted on September 6, 2013 by elizabeth

When Dan and I move out of our apartment, it will mark the fourth time I have moved in six years, going back to when I first moved out of my parents’ house in 2007. I know many people move more frequently than that, but moving every two years has been wearing on me for a long time. I never imagined any of those apartments to be very permanent. It’s not like I’ve avoided decorating, or anything, but it has been a very unmoored kind of feeling. And that’s a huge part of why buying a house is such a relief, even as intimidating as it is. I’m SO ready to put down some damn roots and stay somewhere for longer than two freaking years.

But moving this many times in the past few years has given me a bit of perspective on moving and packing techniques. It’s all I seem to be able to think about lately, with Moving Day closing upon us more quickly than I care to admit.

When I first moved out of my parents’ house, they made me take every single box from their house and attic that had an E on it. I lived in honest-to-God fear those first few years that they’d realize that my bike was still in their garage. I have complained about this for years, but truthfully? I’m glad they did that. When combined with moving every two years, it has sort of forced me to be a bit ruthless about some of the things I’d be inclined to hold onto because I’m absurdly sentimental. My dad was still getting boxes of his from my grandmother’s attic for years, and it can’t get any easier to sort through this kind of stuff as you get older. My friend Melissa pointed it out this way recently: “If you don’t care enough about it to have it in your house, how is it fair to ask them to have it in theirs for you?” But when it came to boxes of “books for future children,” I sort of resented having to store it, at first.

So each time I have moved, I have spent a lot of time sorting through boxes and making executive decisions about all of this stuff. When I moved out of my parents’ house, it was boxes like “E-clothes for later” (containing all of my beloved overalls, which I wouldn’t wear anymore, but thought were high enough quality to save, just in case?) and all of my high school notes and certificates and programs and crap. When I moved from my first to my second apartment, I found myself making decisions about much of the things I had saved from college.

look how long my hair was! I still miss that Harry Potter closet, even if it was a black hole.

And this brings me to my general theory – that everyone has a threshold for sentimentality and holding onto things that meant something to them. Perhaps those of us who are journalers and scrapbookers naturally fall more toward the “save everything” end of the range… Every time I find myself sorting through boxes of mementos, I start out completely ruthlessly, adding things to the recycle/donate/toss piles with abandon. I’m making progress; the garbage bags are filling up with speed… and after a few sessions, I start to worry. Am I being too cruel to my former selves? 2005-Elizabeth obviously saved this for some reason. Why do I need to save every Christmas card I ever received?? But… am I glad I still have the ones with Ghami’s notes and drawings, now that she’s gone? You better believe I am. So I’m ruthless and chucking things left and right… until my conscience takes over and I suddenly start to doubt my ability to be reasonable about things anymore.

It’s like there’s a limit to how much a person can chuck/donate/recycle in each given round. I couldn’t throw away my library school notes and textbooks when I moved in 2009. But in 2011? I really didn’t need to keep them anymore. I suppose it’s partially the luxury of having to move so often; and this time around, I’m HIGHLY aware of the large quantities of storage space in this townhouse we’re buying. The LAST thing I want to do now is fill that basement with crap I don’t feel up to sorting through now, only to have a monumental task ahead of me ten or so years from now when we might move again. Assuming we even move again. Is it making me more ruthless now? Probably. But maybe being ruthless now is easier than ten years from now, when getting rid of anything related to the wedding will feel cruel to 2013-Elizabeth. But 2013-Elizabeth, right now? Thinks it’s probably okay to recycle all of the wedding magazines that I’ve had in a stack since my sister got engaged.

I still feel like a bit of an idiot that I went out to buy a special pack of 5-color post-it notes to label the boxes Dan and I are packing… until I remember how many compliments I got from the muscle (Dan, my brother, my now-brother-in-law…) in 2011, at how easy it was for them to just carry boxes and not need to ask where they belonged. Several friends have recommended numbering the boxes and including a list of what’s inside, which would make a shit-ton of sense, as well. We’ll see.

(Dan’s theory on packing, incidentally, is “There’s tons of stuff to do… and we’ll just do it all.” Whereas I’m here typing 950 words about packing. With six days until closing and eight days until we move… maybe Dan’s right. Holy crap, you guys.)

Project Life: June

Posted on September 5, 2013 by elizabeth

I have had my June Project Life pages done for a while, but just never got around to blogging them. June started out with the honeymoon, which was fantastic, of course, and then was pretty mundane, other than quite a few house hunting updates.

I made a Project Life mini album for the honeymoon (which reminds me: I should take photos so I can blog about it one of these days), but wanted to document the week in my main album, as well. All of the journaling is in the mini album, so I chose my favorite photos to include here.

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Week 24 contained a few days off for me after we got back from Antigua, which I’m so glad about. Things like a haircut and pizza seemed so “real life” after getting back from such a great trip.

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I like how the color scheme developed naturally on these pages, taking the orangey/yellow/browns from the photos and into the cards from the kits that I used.

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Dan and I were with our respective families for Father’s Day this year, but much like I did for Mother’s Day back in May, I wanted to include photos of each of our fathers here.

Week 25 included Dan’s first day at his new position, a trip to the movies, and a color-focused photo project for me.
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The other really big news was my sister and brother-in-law’s new puppy, Jax. I used an insert because I couldn’t narrow down the photos of him and had to include them all. (Even more knowing he won’t be this little and calm for very much longer!)

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The back of the insert – adore these photos of my parents with Jax, and with his “uncle” C.J., who looks gigantic compared to baby Jax. (C.J is James’s parents’ dog.)
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Rounding out June was week 26, a rough week in which we confronted some harsh realities about the house hunting process, and I battled one of the more intense headaches I can ever remember.

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#21. Cleaning House

Posted on September 4, 2013 by elizabeth

Number 21 on my 33 Before 33 list was, simply, to get rid of all of the clothes clogging up my closet and drawers that don’t (and haven’t) fit. This type of item has appeared on lists in previous years, and tends to be something I’m only really spurred to do knowing I may need to move soon. My weight has always fluctuated between a few sizes, and as much as I hate to admit it, the past few years have had me at the higher end of my comfortable range. Higher than the dark, overalls-laden high school days. Like most brides, I had all sorts of plans to lose weight before my wedding… but I self-medicate with beer and food, so attempting to cut off my primary “you had a shitty, stressful day, you’ve really earned a beer” coping mechanisms during such a stressful year didn’t seem worth the, well, stress. (And let’s face it: part of me also recoiled at the idea that I should lose weight for my wedding. This is what I look like, dammit, why wouldn’t I look like myself on my wedding day?)

All that being said… I have a hard time getting rid of perfectly good clothes that fit recently but just don’t, now, and probably won’t in a while. I really liked that polo shirt, and that’s my “reading is sexy” t-shirt, and those jeans are just the best.

But there’s a line between holding on to things because you loved them, and holding on to things that depress you to see. So I put it on the list. Because hopefully we truly are moving soon, and the last thing I want to do is continue to fill closets with clothes I can’t even wear anymore. Yes, I probably need to work harder to exercise and eat smart and stop rewarding myself for hard days with booze and burritos. But setting aside those perfectly good shirts for my sister to look through, and bagging up another giant bag to get rid of felt GOOD. I feel lighter already.

And I can always buy some new best jeans if I need to.

Five Years Later

Posted on September 2, 2013 by elizabeth

Item #27 on my 33 Before 33 list is a special one. I’ve written about how Dan and I first started dating before, but the quick version is this: at a Somerset Patriots game on August 16, 2008, Dan and I sat next to each other, and didn’t stop talking the entire night. Maybe it was the magic of baseball under the lights, but we both felt the spark that night, even if it took us almost exactly two months to go on our first date.

Every summer since then, Dan and I have gone to a Patriots game together, to honor that first spark. Sometimes we go with his parents to celebrate our birthdays, and sometimes it’s just the two of us, but it is now tradition to see a game there each summer, no matter how many other baseball games we see.

Even though there are plenty of other anniversaries now, between our first date and when we moved in together and that whole wedding business, August 16 has always felt especially important, because it’s really where everything started. So when I realized that the Patriots had a home game on August 16 this year, I knew we had to go, in honor of the magic under the lights five summers ago. We were leaving for Cape Cod at 5am the next morning, but we couldn’t miss the chance.

And I’m so, so glad that we went.

The golden hour felt a little more golden, and we drank cold beers and elbowed each other. I made Dan take an awkwardly-too-close self portrait before we found our seats right behind home plate. We got hot dogs and fries, and ended up with juice boxes too, as we unwittingly ordered kids’ meals instead of plain old hot dogs. We sat next to some really obnoxious teenagers – so obnoxious that we moved our seats twice. But the lights were twinkling and the beer was cold and it was me and Dan and baseball, back where it all started. It feels like a million years and yesterday all at once.

Cape Cod 2013

Posted on August 28, 2013 by elizabeth

When I was a kid, we went to Cape Cod almost every summer with the extended family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents all stayed in this giant house. The weeks we’d spend there consist of some of my very favorite memories – learning how to shuffle cards, watching James Bond movies, sharing a room with my sister and older cousin (trading off whose turn it was to sleep in a sleeping bag between the two beds), buying penny candy, hours and hours at the beach. We stopped going sometime in the 1990s. I think it just got too difficult to coordinate once many of us cousins were in middle school and high school. But I think we all missed it.

My parents started going back a few years ago, right around the time my college friend Pete’s parents bought a house on the Cape. My parents have been renting that house every summer since. It’s a bit strange to restart yearly vacations in this way, picking up where you left off 15 years before. Last year, my extended family rented a big big house over Memorial Day, and I have a feeling that will become a new yearly tradition, too.

Cape Cod is one of those places that time doesn’t seem to really touch. So many of the things I remember from my childhood visits are still there. Vacations on the Cape are repetitive in the best nostalgic ways – there are just so many things we need to do each time we’re there, even if we just did it last summer. A cup of clam chowder at the Squire in Chatham, a new sweatshirt from Cuffy’s, fresh fish from the fish pier for dinner… it’s comforting to be able to continue all of these traditions, and to share them with Dan, now.

Dan and I don’t go every year (and now that the extended family is going in the Spring, going twice each summer is even harder), and we hadn’t been with my parents in August in a few years, so we made it a point to go for a long weekend this year. I’m so, so glad that we did. We both sorely needed a weekend away from everything, knowing how much things are going to explode with the new semester starting at work and that whole Buying A House Or Some Shit thing.

My photos from Cape Cod are sort of unoriginal, in that I know I’ve taken many of them before, but can’t seem to resist taking them again. In our brief 3+ day visit, we visited Chatham, took a tour at Cape Cod Brewing (so interesting! And they only distribute on the Cape!), watched lots of Red Sox games (arguably my dad’s favorite part), bought new sweatshirts, read a lot, and saw the ocean (even getting partial credit for #11 on my 33 before 33 list). It was pretty great.

Currents

Posted on August 23, 2013 by elizabeth

This summer has FLOWN by. Faster than I can remember in any recent year, and I know it’s a huge cliche to be talking about it, like every other person on the internet… but I can’t understand how we’re a week away from September. It’s making me feel even more frazzled than I already do, all “no, wait, summer, you can’t leave yet! I haven’t eaten nearly enough burgers and hot dogs! I haven’t seen the Jersey shore!”

But here we are, and half the reason I’m freaked by how little summer is left is that there are some pretty Big Things in store for September. Or, I guess, just one: buying a house. After a few incredibly nerve-wracking days, we managed to get through the inspection negotiations, so we’re now on track for our closing in a little less than three weeks. (WTF. HOW is that possible??) The mortgage paperwork is, I’m told, ahead of schedule, and today I signed us up for a homeowners’ insurance policy. Like a freaking adult or some shit.

I know I wrote like this when the wedding was upon us, over-using the word WEIRD in every post but… it’s weird. It’s scary, the idea that we’re going to own a house in less than a month. That we are planning to buy actual adult furniture that we intend to keep for fifteen years (not more as-cheap-as-possible crap). We might even buy a bed bigger than the full I bought when I first moved out of my parents’ house.

I’m feeling really overwhelmed, at all of the packing we still have to do, at the notion that we’ll be moving two days after we close on this place. I’m scared about this town neither of us knows much about, that’s so very Miscellaneous Western NJ (almost everyone I know, even lifelong NJ residents, has no idea where our new town is. “Oh, yeah, okay. …Is that close to Princeton?”). What if it’s too far from everyone we know? What if I’ll hate the fact that there’s no Target or Walgreens nearby? (The one characteristic of this Miscellaneous Western Jersey area is that it’s much more spread out than Dan and I are used to; most things will be 20ish minutes away, with only farmland between here and there.)

And just like before the wedding, when all I could talk about was how weird it felt, and how hard it was to imagine it actually happening, that’s exactly how I feel now. Everyone is so excited for us… and it’s not that I’m not excited, or that I don’t love our new place, it’s just that I’m scared and intimidated and having a hard time picturing living somewhere so big and awesome. But maybe, just like with the wedding, it’s my heart’s way of protecting myself from disappointment and the let down of too-high expectations. If I’m not exploding with excitement now, if I’m so prepared for the things that might not be perfect, maybe buying a house will be just like the wedding – so much more exciting and happy and awesome than I could have been prepared for. I hope it’s like that, at least.

I leave you with a favorite from the archives:

because Jimmy Eat World feels like summer to me, and they take me seriously back in time to my college days, and it’s back to school time, and that line I’m a New Jersey success story always makes me super jazzed, even if it’s hokey and obvious to say so. I’d sure like to have a NJ success story this month.

Project Life: May

Posted on August 7, 2013 by elizabeth

I have been so many weeks behind on Project Life for the bulk of 2013; it was a little like I just never overcame the deficit caused by the wedding. Luckily, planning the pages in real time has saved a ton of time in putting them together after the fact. I finished the June pages in my two days off before we left for our honeymoon, which mean that I left for the honeymoon 100% caught up. It was a great feeling, and I’m even more happy with these pages than I was with April’s.

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Week 18 was a strange week; Dan was in Dallas for work the whole week. But it was the first time we’ve both had iPhones, so we used FaceTime almost every night. It’s always a little rough when he travels, but I never realized how different video chat is from just hearing his voice. I took screenshots each night while he was gone, and like how the page feels just like that week did. (Also, it’s really hard for me to resist using numbers from my giant Stendig calendar for each week’s title card… I may have to start doing that more often, because I love how it looks.)

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I did a Day in the Life while Dan was gone – just pictures this time, all taken on my phone when I remembered. This insert really reminds me of my days living alone.

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The right side, featuring the crazy diorama Dan and I constructed for a work presentation of his, and photos from our most recent trip to Princeton with Eleanor and Liz.

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Week 19 was busy for both of us; we were both sick and dealing with big work events.

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An insert to document our trip to the Washington Crossing Beer Fest, which was a ton of fun. We tried so many beers, dodged rain showers, and mostly just marveled at how beautiful it was.

Project Life: Week 19, right side
This is one of my favorite pages so far; I have always had issues in not taking enough photos of friends and family, so I insisted that Dan and I each take a photo with our moms on Mother’s Day. And I’m really glad I did that.

Week 20 wasn’t too special; we watched a lot of playoff hockey and basketball, and finally watched The Office series finale.

Project Life week 21: right side
And another of my favorite pages so far; again, super simple but documents a lot of the every day details. I had just gotten my hands on the Honey core kit, and all three of these journaling cards are from that set. I love how there are lots of multiples like this that can look so nice used together.

Project Life Week 22: left side
And the last page of May, the few days before we left on our honeymoon, aka days that were really hard to focus on much of anything. But one of the bigger milestones was Dan’s last day at the job he’s had for the last 5 years (he’s at the same company, but a new department now). It was a really memorable day, and I asked Dan if he would mind writing down how it went so that it was in his words, rather than re-told by me. He was totally game, and I love it.

A House Hunting Update, Better Late than Never

Posted on August 5, 2013 by elizabeth

When I last wrote about our house hunting adventure, we had just decided to start looking at townhouses after an incredibly frustrating, depressing house hunt so far. I didn’t have a happy ending to write then, and I still don’t, but even as I wrote that, I had a feeling that things were about to turn around.

We looked at about ten different townhouses in our search area, which was really eye opening. It is really amazing how much more you get for your money in townhouses in this area – more square footage, newer finishes, bigger rooms, etc. And you get even more the further west you go. In the same price range and locations that had us looking at crumbly fixer-uppers with flowery wallpaper, we were looking at 3 bedroom townhouses with garages and basements. After our first day of townhouse-hunting, Dan and I were just so relieved. Maybe we could actually find a place to live after all. (Unrelated side note: calling them “townhomes” really irks me, even as I understand the not-entirely-subtle marketing of thinking of it as your home rather than just any ol’ house.)

the pretty rolling hills of Western NJ; still so wonderfully pretty to me, as this is definitely not a view you’d see on the Shore

I was a little nervous when one of the nicer-looking places sold before we could even schedule a visit, and started to get antsy when I realized that the first townhouse we looked at (and then saw again that weekend) was really, really nice. Dan liked it, too, even. After an uneasy Sunday evening (uneasy because I wanted to talk paint colors and craft room layouts-both of which help me feel like I can picture us living somewhere for real-and Dan wanted to zone out playing a game while he mulled this Giant Decision over), we agreed – we really wanted this place. So we decided to put in an offer the next day after work. (I’m still not sure how I got anything done that day at all.)

We learned about an hour after we signed a giant stack of Important Offer Paperwork that the condo association was not approved for the type of mortgage we intended to get. And then I was back in the “this is NEVER EVER going to work out” headspace…. what if we can’t get ANY place in this development we now really like, the one that’s head and shoulders better than anything else out there??. Luckily, the mortgage company was willing to work with us to allow us to get the type of mortgage that would work. Game on! The sellers liked our offer, and within sixteen hours of signing the paperwork, we had an accepted offer, still a bit less than the asking price.

WHAT.

hardwood floors. everywhere. eee!

At this point, I think I was just in shock. It seemed way too soon to celebrate anything, even though I was furiously pinning home decor ideas. After everything we went through, and all the places we looked at, it just didn’t seem possible that it would work out. We had looked at 40 places total. I don’t know if that’s a lot in general house hunting terms, but it definitely felt like a lot.

We got through Attorney Review in record time, and had the inspection a week ago. Amazingly, there’s nothing (huge) wrong with the place, and we’re hoping that the post-inspection negotiations are straightforward. It still feels WAY too soon to celebrate, though.

I was trying to explain to friends over the weekend that I still can’t quite picture us there. Not because I’m regretting it, or don’t like it, or think it’s not the right place for us. It’s just so nice, and so big, and so bright and airy and just so much better than anything else we saw that I can’t believe it’s real. I can picture us staying there for a long time. It’s really more than we were hoping for.

So! That’s the story so far. We’re excited and still afraid to believe it’s really happening, and also sorta freaking out at the idea that we are probably moving in six weeks. Six weeks! This is all just kinda crazy.

is this our new oak tree? I think maybe it is. Yay!

33 Before 33

Posted on July 21, 2013 by elizabeth

I have a bad habit of getting myself into long-term, big-scale projects. Often. I’ve never been one for new year’s resolutions, but there is something about having a yearly or daily project (or hell, just one that’s numbered) that motivates me like nothing else. This quirk is why I have completed four years of Project 365 (whining about it heartily by the end), and probably a little bit of why Project Life appeals to me so much. I have a weakness (or compulsion) when it comes to neatly stacked, numbered lists, and even when I need a break, I can’t seem to stay away from this style of project for very long. So after a few years off, I decided it was time to bring back the birthday to do list, last seen when I was 29 with my 30 Before 30 list.

Having these lists to guide me as I approach a new year has been such a great thing; I really think that if you strike the right balance of silly, small things and big, maybe scary things and things you’ve always wanted to do but just never got around to, it’s a recipe for a really great year. I have done some really fun things thanks to these years of lists, and sometimes I just need a list to push me that extra inch toward a goal. So I’m bringing back the list, with this one: 33 Before 33. In the past, I have obscured the big stuff in vagueries (“make a change” or “take a risk or two”)… but it’s not like it’s a secret to anyone (on the internet or in real life) that there are some Big Life Things that Dan and I want to get rolling on this year. Somehow, putting them on this list (and on the internet) in black and white make them feel more within reach. Less like we’re talking about some other people who are going to do adult-sounding things. If that makes any sense.

Or, the short version: I get majorly sentimental about projects and birthdays and numbered lists. And here’s the list of things I want to do while I’m 32:

~~make a blanket that I get to keep~~ (I made a granny square blanket for Ben)
send random happy mail to friends
go on one date each month with Dan
host a party of some sort (dinner party, housewarming, football party) for more than 4 people
shoot at least one roll of film each with the AE-1, instax, polaroid
make a wedding album
make wedding albums to give to our parents
~~buy a house!~~ (we did it!)
~~paint a room in our new house~~ (extra credit for stripes and/or chalkboard paint) (Ben’s room!)
~~get a grill and use it~~
visit the ocean (at least 5 times) (1: Cape Cod, August)
walk across a bridge in NYC
become a mother
visit a new local brewery
learn how to cook new (healthy!) meals with Dan
~~finally own an Expedit bookshelf from Ikea~~
~~get a cat!~~
make pom poms
~~eat at Pete and Elda’s~~ (for my brother’s birthday in December)
make quote wall art
~~get rid of the large quantities of clothes that don’t fit~~
crochet a giant scarf
get another tattoo
~~celebrate our first anniversary~~
focus on today’s moments instead of worrying about tomorrow’s
hang a photo gallery wall in our new place
~~go to a Patriots game with Dan to celebrate five years since our first spark~~ (done!)
make a new dessert
find awesome, reliable, go-to places to eat in our new town
get a sewing machine
and sew something simple
make a wreath for each season (summer, fall, Christmas, winter, spring) for our front door
choose hope instead of letting stress win

And in case you like to go back in time as much as I do, here are my previous birthday lists:
30 before 30
28 Things to Do While I’m 28
27 Things To Do While I’m 27

Freelensing

Posted on July 17, 2013 by elizabeth

My current favorite photo project this summer is Operation Photo Butt-Kick, which a few of us started together as a way to kick-start our photography creativity. There’s a new challenge every two weeks, and it has definitely gotten me and my camera out the door taking pictures again. Which is kind of the whole point. The current challenge is to find a photography (or photo-editing/processing) tutorial online and use it to take (or edit) a photo. I bookmark photo tutorials all the time, but almost never find a reason to actually use them, so I was really glad to see this one.

I ended up deciding to try out freelensing, based on two tutorials I found: one from Photojojo and another from B&H. (I also watched a few youtube videos.) I’d read about it once a long time ago and thought it was cool … but that’s as far as it got.

Basically, you detach your lens from the camera to achieve a tilt-shift (or lensbaby-ish) blur, or to get a really close-up macro shot. It’s tricksy, though, because the lens is, you know, detached, meaning that it can’t talk to the camera. I tried this out with two lenses – the 40mm pancake (because it’s my new favorite) and the 50mm (which is recommended in the tutorial).

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my two control/test shots; 40mm on the left and 50mm on the right.

I found that the 40mm was reeeeally hard to manipulate and focus once it was off of the camera (duh) because it’s so small. It worked better if I got much, much closer to T-Rex. I also got better/more noticeable results if I tilted the lens farther away from the camera than I needed to later with the 50mm.

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The 50mm has a longer focal length, and that was pretty apparent with this experiment. It also let in WAY more light, so almost every freelensed photo I took was really blown out, even adjusting the settings to try to compensate. I had to stay a little farther away, but got subtle effects with not a lot of tilt, and then some pretty wacky/over-exaggerated effects tilting it farther.

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My camera’s live view mode was awesome for helping to focus, for sure. And I definitely should have done this with a setup that didn’t involve photographing something very small that was directly on the ground, because it meant sitting with my elbows on the concrete trying to balance, and hunching way over to get close enough. Don’t do that. I would love to try this in the recommended types of scenes – streets, cube farms, etc, but I also wanted to do this in the safety of a relatively static environment where I could take a ton of shots and mess around without getting caught. But all in all, this was a fun experiment. Will I use it all the time forever? Probably not. But I’m also glad I tried it.