Currents

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goodbye, February
hello, March!

Happy March, dudes! I love the start of a new month, and let’s just say tearing off 4ft by 3ft calendar page to turn to the new month is pretty emphatic. I took those last two photos of the tree outside our apartment, on the last morning of February and the first morning of March. I know March is supposed to come in like a lion, but the sky has been (mostly) blue, and the weather is (mostly) warmer and after the coldest winter in years, I’ll take all I can get. Bring on spring, bring on daylight savings, bring on sunshine.

Here’s a list of things that have been really awesome in the past few weeks:

  • how light it is when I leave work
  • the AMAZING quilt that Eleanor and Liz made for us as a wedding gift. I mean, it’s got tiny old timey baseball dude fabric!
  • nights when Dan works late and I have living alone flashbacks
  • the night AFTER Dan’s late nights are over, and I actually get to hang out with him again instead of attempting in vain to stay awake until he gets home at 11:30.
  • planning and imagining big picture stuff for the next few months

I have been working long(er) hours to tackle an intense project that I haven’t been able to get to since I started this job in September, and it’s really satisfying to be making progress. After a few days of feeling gross, I decided to make some changes in my (awful) eating habits. I make these resolutions every few months and never stick with them, but I’m really tired of feeling this way, so my intention is to mean it this time. My name change is 95% official, which is crazy, and yet each time I sign my new last name, it’s a little easier. We finally made plans for a very-mini-honeymoon next weekend, and we’re both SO excited. I ordered some insanely red sneakers to wear for the days of walking, and Dan’s both horrified by them and sort of resigned to the fact that he did marry the kind of girl who would always choose bright red sneakers with aqua accents over a more standard gray or black.

I’m trying to read more, which was tough there for a little while, because although Cloud Atlas has been on my “to read” list since 2003 when I worked at Borders, and a million people whose opinions I respect LOVED the book, the first two chapters just really didn’t grab me. And when a book doesn’t grab me quickly enough, I just don’t read it. But I don’t pick anything else up, either, because giving up on books is just not something I do lightly. But I stuck it out and am now hooked (but reservedly so; ten years of hype is kind of a lot), so time to read is definitely on my list for the weekend. Also on the list: catching up on Project Life, working on the scarf Dan asked me to make for him (I can’t tell you how much I HATE changing colors when I’m knitting. I know it’s easy but ugh. Or, I should have made the stripes smaller so I could carry the yarn up the side), and hopefully getting to see Dan’s nephew (although I’m realizing that he’s actually our nephew now, isn’t he?).

I leave you with this video of the song I walked down the aisle to, “Specks” by Matt Pond, because his new album came out in early February and I know you mostly tend to love new albums from your favorite band ever ever, but the new album is just SO good. Even if there aren’t any good youtube videos from it yet.

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Currents

deserted

1.52 :: stacks

muted glow

It’s been a week, that’s for sure. I guess the biggest thing about this week is that I haven’t been able to focus on anything at ALL. Friends keep assuring me this is entirely normal, but it’s a strange feeling… edgy and stressed but it’s not like normal stress where I can distract myself… but it’s a sort of vague feeling underlying everything. Antsy but not panicking. Finding myself in strange situations where I can feel meltdowns close by but am able, for perhaps the first time ever, to talk myself out of them successfully.

It’s all just very, very weird.

I got to visit the university library this week, which I enjoyed immensely. We applied for our marriage license and it was easy and so, so quick. I was trying to explain to my brother how I had expected it to be less no muss-no fuss, and he just said, “you mean no fanfare??? no trumpets???” and I laughed, but I guess when you do something as Big as that, you do secretly sort of expect balloons to fall from the metaphorical ceiling. I suppose that the metaphorical balloons fall on the actual wedding day, duh.

I’m having trouble thinking of other things to report, but mostly it comes down to a whole lot of craft projects this weekend, a wedding-related photo project that will probably get me and Dan pretty tipsy (our wedding does have a beer theme, remember), trying to decide if I want to paint my own nails this week… and yes, trying to remember to take deep breaths and to appreciate all of these anticipation-filled moments as much as possible.

The song of the week is an older one that I loved long before it was in Dan in Real Life (which I watched with my own Dan). It was a top contender for our wedding song, but it isn’t our actual wedding song. I’ll always love it, though, because I can still picture dancing with Dan and singing it with him.

Do you have the slightest idea (No, I don’t)
Why the world is bright with you here? (Oh, is that so?)
Stay a while and wait and see (wait and see)
If things go right we’re meant to be

Oh, what a world this life would be
Forget all your technicolor dreams
Forget modern nature
This is how it´s meant to be

Currents

third sunset

good morning

Project Life 2012: The End

stripey fails are still fails

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This week was kind of a roller coaster. I should probably get used to it. The university is deserted, so being back at work is strange; frozen tumbleweeds tumbling down streets… and yet I’m here and stressing about some work projects that are overdue. I didn’t write a Wedding Wednesday post this week because it was hard to come up with a specific topic. Mostly because we’re in crunch time now; my mom described it as feeling like you’re being squeezed with every day that ticks off the countdown, because the to do list stays the same and the time is just shriiiiinking.

We have had our master to do list, but it turns out that rewriting and re-prioritizing it helped IMMENSELY. As did writing three other to do lists (things to buy, things to design/print at home, prints to order) and more focused lists (like “guest book assembly”). At this stage in the game, when every person I see is all “Aren’t you so! excited!!!????” and I’m awkwardly mumbling, “yeah uhh well yes? except there’s so much left to dooooo, there’s no time to be excited yet”, it seems that I need to have every single thing written down. If it’s not all written out in my notebook, I start to feel panicked. So, I’m writing and rewriting the same lists.

We are getting things done, though, and truly, the things that remain are not huge (other than the seating chart/place cards, which we can’t do until we have our final meeting – this afternoon – at the brewery. That whole non-traditional “who wants a ballroom with round tables for 10 centered around a square dance floor, anyway? The brewery’s layout is so unique!” scoff doesn’t feel as cool when you’re fielding endless questions from the florist about how long/wide the tables are, when you don’t even know how MANY we’ll need, let alone how many people will be at each one or how long they will be). Lots of little, fussy projects, like buying a unity candle, making menu cards, designing and assembling the guest book and table numbers, figuring out what my something blue is….

In other news, it has been SO cold and windy this week. My hair sticks up straight with static thanks to the fake fur hood on my winter coat, my hands are insanely dry (but I found hand lotion that I really like, for once) and the world’s supply of rock salt is in our parking lot. I may have had to turn in my hipster membership club card, but the sweater uggs I got for Christmas are SO cozy and I don’t care. All I want to do is convince Dan to eat burritos every night (but that might conflict a bit with my final dress fitting in less than a week). I just want to try to keep away from the edge of “not actually holding it together” and stay right here, where I feel edgy but not crazed. So I’m going to gaze happily at my bright red shellac manicure and the hot pink post-it heart I stuck to our wedding day on my Stendig calendar, think about the wedding idea Dan told me last night that would really rock, allow myself lots of diet coke, let myself to put down the to do lists and relax sometimes, and hope for the best.

Here’s the song for the week, “Love of the Light” by Mumford and Sons, obviously because of the “to have and to hold” bit. The video itself is pretty fantastic, once you figure out the twist.

so love the one you hold
and I’ll be your gold
to have and to hold

Currents

31 days to go!
photo by Liesl from Photo Pink; picmonkey-ed to death by me

Big stuff today, folks: the wedding is officially a month away. ONE MONTH. How is that even POSSIBLE? I can’t really believe it. A month is such a short amount of time, and it’s just so strange and exciting and strange. I think I’ve mentioned that I work at a university, and the idea that when classes are back in session for the Spring semester, I’ll be married is one of the happiest, weirdest, craziest things that keeps running through my head. We’re in good shape, although last night (as we were leaving our final meeting with our DJ), Dan said “can’t we just be married already? I feel like we’ve been planning and planning forEVER and the fact that we still have another month of it feels like too much.” I can’t say I disagree…. But to say I’m not over the moon excited (as much as I’m overwhelmed and over-using the word weird to describe how I feel about the imminence of getting married) would be a total lie. I can’t fucking wait.

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I have the week between Christmas and New Years off, and I’m obviously looking forward to it. Starting a new job in the middle of planning a wedding has meant very few days off and many, many weekends and evenings booked up, so some time off is very  much needed. Even if most of the days will be busy with celebrating and family (and a few wedding things, too). Christmas is one of my favorite things, and I can’t wait to wear my giant red snowflake sweater, paint my nails glittery, and hang out with my families.

There are still things I want to do more of before the holiday season is over, namely:

  • drink holiday tea (Tazo’s Joy and Harney & Sons White Christmas) out of my giant hand painted Christmas mug
  • eat pancakes (since we can’t make it to Grandmother’s Christmas Eve pancake breakfast this year)
  • listen to more Christmas music (It’s not embarrassing to say that I need to listen to John Denver & the Muppets every year before it feels like Christmas, right?
  • Wrap the presents (my favorite part)
  • Test out our new holiday jammies
  • Watch as many James Bond movies as possible.

This weekend, we’re hoping to see the Hobbit (I can’t believe I haven’t seen it yet; I saw all three Lord of the Rings movies in the theater on opening night!) and get ready for Christmas. Maybe I’ll get to squeeze some crafting in there, too.

I leave you with arguably my favorite non-traditional Christmas song (because let’s face it, Bing Crosby is where it’s at), “Christmas” by Blues Traveler. I downloaded it in college during one of my collecting all the Christmas music I could download fests, and the lyrics get me every year. It’s obscure and no one other than me knows it, let alone loves it as much as me, but the spirit of “peace on earth to everyone and an abundance to everyone you’re with” regardless of what you’re celebrating really hits home for me. And, okay, also this part:
I wish a one horse open sleigh
would come carry me away
but I’ve been waiting here all day

and one just hasn’t come my way

Currents

it's bokeh season, y'all!!!!
159.365 :: lights and bricks
December 27, 2008
holiday bokeh at hibachi
Carlos O'Connors bokeh!
I’d apologize for the bokehsposion but … I don’t care. It’s making me veeeery happy on a gloomy Friday afternoon and I hope looking at it makes you happy, too. It has been a pretty quick week, and I’ll take it, because like last weekend (did I mention that my bridal shower was last weekend? It was AMAZING and perfect and so, so fun. I promise I’ll write about it next week once I have my hands on pictures), this weekend is chock-full of fun, happy stuff.

I got a surprising amount of crafting done this week, between a night of Twilight on dvd while Dan played computer games and scoffed at the tv, and two nights of Dan working until 11:30pm. It felt a little bit like the olden days of living by myself, and as much as I love Dan and having him to snuggle with, I did also really dig living alone.

Speaking of reminiscing, I actually posted some photos to flickr today, and then I got lost in a black hole of my old photos. For example, I had a fun time looking back at my 30 days of shoes at the end of my 3rd year of daily photos, and was retroactively impressed with the creativity in some of those shots. (NOT all of them. heh.) I really need to try to get back into flickr, just as an unofficial online photo diary. I’ve been using it since 2005 and can’t tell you how often I go there first to figure out where I was in my life. So if I just … trail off using it, there also goes the online record. (Even if it’s just for myself.) I’m still taking and printing photos (hellooooo Project Life), but just not cross-posting them to flickr because so much of the community that I used to love there has migrated to instagram and twitter and facebook. I dunno.

We’ve started tallying wedding rsvps, which is really exciting. We’re sad to learn when people can’t make it (although I was honestly afraid wayyyy more would be unable to join us, just because: winter. Sunday. Lots of people who don’t live in central NJ), but I can’t tell you how heartwarming it is to see how people bedazzle their invitations, either by adding hearts or exclamation points or decorating the envelopes (or filling them with glitter! I’m so stealing that one) or writing sweet messages on the back or even just simply adding a few words like “can’t wait”. It really, really brings the happy heart back to the process to remember: DUH you idiot, you invited the people you love best in the world to this wedding, and at the worst, you get a smaller portion of those same favoritest people to be there to celebrate a Huge Life Event with you. Yeah, the to do list drags you down, but HELLO it’s going to be SO FUN. (I’m a little dense, sometimes.)

My brother’s birthday is tomorrow, so we’ve got some cool stuff planned this weekend to celebrate with him, and I’m looking forward to even something simple like my immediate family all being together. I’m not sure the last time that happened, since we spent Thanksgiving with Dan’s side this year.

I leave you with this bit of AMAZINGNESS, because as much as I love Bing Crosby and his true, unarguable Christmas classics (every year I swoon a little when I hear the first few notes of Bing. Love. Him.), this song has been one of my absolute favorites forEVER. It makes me think of my sister and living with Amy in college, and this version is just so … cheery.

Currents

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I’m having a really hard time getting it through my head that Thanksgiving was last week, and December is tomorrow. Broken record, I know, and with the wedding planning happening, I’ve known this fall and holiday season would be like this, but now that it’s here it’s still hard to process how fast time is flying. I’m not usually an early Christmas decorator, but this year I put the lights and decorations up (let’s face it: our living room is a lightsplosion) the day after Thanksgiving. Christmas lights are just so happy, and I just wanted to get as much time to enjoy the happy as I could.

It snowed a little bit this week, the pretty kind, and it was even the kind of snow you can actually appreciate, because I didn’t have to dig my car out, and the roads weren’t too bad. It’s amazing how wintry it feels outside now, all of a sudden.

We have gotten a lot of wedding stuff done this week, including one of the bigger things left on the list: picking out and ordering our wedding bands. It was a little nerve-wracking but we love what we picked and we’ll get to take them home with us in a few weeks like we’re actually getting married or something. Wedding rings! Ack! We also made some progress on our honeymoon, or progress on deciding WHEN we’ll be going. Because I now work at a university in a very (very) small department, being gone for a length of time is going to be complicated, so we’re going to hold off on our honeymoon until Spring Break or maybe even the summer. It sucks that we can’t go right away (I’m sooo in love with the idea of having a Huge Event and then whisking away with my love for a few weeks to escape from the entire world and then coming back, Married and Zen), but having made that decision feels good.

Mostly, though, this week has been a really stressful and frustrating one. And in a strange turn of events, I also can’t fall asleep at night at ALL. I’m normally driving Dan insane by falling asleep on the couch at 9:30 every night; I need SO much sleep to not be a total jerk and my body usually forces it on me. Except this week, in which I feel like I’ve been wound up sometime around 8:30 and I never wind down, and we’re watching tv or I’m laying awake unable to even focus on a book until midnight. It’s freaking me out. Maybe I’m stressed, or something? Big Life Events coming up, maybe? Either way, it needs to quit it because I need me some sleep.

But there’s happy stuff, too, and more coming. Beer samplers and sometimes my growing-out bangs don’t look like crap and my giant striped scarf and really big blankets. So it balances out.

Here’s the song for the week, The Early November’s “In Currents”, because November’s just about over, and I’m feeling a lot like I’m being swept in a current lately… and because it’s why I titled this blog series “Currents” rather than “around here” or “currently” or some such:


Life is an ocean and it moves like this.
So you’ll get what you ask for.
When love is the current pulling from your hands,
It’s all you want, it’s all you’re after.

Currents

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It has been one of those weeks that has me SO relieved that the weekend is (just about) here. This week has included a lot of coffee (now in cute Christmas travel cups!) and a lot of cheeseballs. And a lot of unexpected stress on top of the normal stuff.

Our wedding invitations are out in the world, and that makes things feel very Real. It’s strange, somehow, that even though we’ve been planning this wedding for almost ten months, something small (like getting an rsvp in the mail) can still make it seem real, because that means it didn’t feel fully real before. (I have a feeling there are still quite a few Real-making things ahead.)

I really can’t understand how Thanksgiving is less than a week away. We went to a Thanksgiving buffet at the faculty dining hall this week, and that turned my disbelief into excitement, because let’s face it: stuffing is pretty much the best food ever other than burritos. I probably should start thinking of some creative and impressive dessert to bring to Dan’s parents’ house for Thanksgiving dinner.

I’m grumbling seeing how many houses in our neighborhood already have Christmas lights up already, and Christmas tv commercials already? UGH. (Does anyone ever really give someone else a CAR for Christmas? I mean, really.) HOWEVER. I was super jazzed to browse the decorations at Target this week, and I think I even got Dan to consent to me buying a cutesy Advent Calendar. I have a plan for decorating this year, or, perhaps the better way to say it is that I’m allowing myself to buy a few new decorations this year and I’m aiming to put them up next weekend to fully squeeze every Christmassy bit out of the holiday season. And you know I already bought my pine tree candle. It’s going to be interesting to see how the holidays fit in with Wedding Planning Crunch Time, and I’m hoping getting some cheer in before wedding things get really insane may help me feel like I’m not missing Christmas altogether.

This weekend should be pretty good: Our engagement photo session is tomorrow afternoon, and me and my bright purple coat are ready to go. (Except for the fact that I’m incredibly nervous. I may take a lot of pictures, but I’m really bad at pretending I don’t notice/acting natural when someone else is pointing their camera at ME. Also I hope my hair looks cute.) Sunday we’re going to watch football with my brother and that’s always a great time. Happy weekend, y’all!