Wedding Wednesday: Just Married!!

150934_10151368425219182_1691896863_n
photo by jodi mckee

So um, guys? We’re MARRIED. And I have to say that it was the happiest, most love- and joy-filled day either of us has ever experienced. I don’t know if I’ve ever smiled so big or felt so happy, ever. Everyone said the day would fly by, and that we should remember to breathe and stay in the moment, because we’d forget it all so quickly… but neither Dan nor I felt that way on Sunday. The day felt long and full and slow and so very clear. And everything went so smoothly from start to finish. Maybe that eerie calm I felt leading up to the wedding was my heart’s subconscious way of moderating my bad habit of setting expectations so high that I’ll only end up disappointed… because even though I know I’m sounding gushy, I don’t care, but things went BETTER than I could ever have expected. I mean, we thought the ceremony would be meaningful, and that our vows would be personal, and that a brewery reception would be cool… but the ceremony was like an arrow through our hearts, and our vows made everyone (including ourselves) tear up, and the brewery was AMAZING. I never expected it would be SO GOOD.

I have a million things to say (obviously) but since Dan and I had the same five favorite moments of the day, I thought I’d share those instead:

  1. Our first look. We decided to see each other before the ceremony, and to have the photographers take a picture. It seemed like it would make the day go more smoothly, even if it’s not as traditional, and I am SO GLAD we did this. I think it made us both infinitely more relaxed… and I’ll never, ever forget that nervous, shaky, excited feeling of seeing him for the first time, talking in hushed tones with tears in our eyes, kissing Dan and having him holding my hand, “dude we’re getting married” “you look so beautiful”.
  2. Our vows. We were nervous to write our own vows, to capture that balance between personal, heartfelt, funny, and full of the real promises. We wrote them for each other, of course, but I never could have predicted how many people would tell us afterwards how meaningful they were to them. I read mine without crying, somehow, and hearing Dan’s wonderful-sounding voice say his to me was just one of those once in a lifetime moments.
  3. Looking down from the balcony during cocktail hour. Right after we got to the cocktail hour, we went up to the balcony to take some pictures of the two of us. The brewery has a long balcony that overlooks both bars (and the area they cleared out to make our dance floor). Leaning over that railing with Dan’s arms around me, seeing the brewery we both love filled to the brim with the PEOPLE we love – laughing, talking, music playing, beer flowing, food being passed around – it filled us both with such joy.
  4. The speeches. My sister and Dan’s brother gave AMAZING speeches. Lindsey’s was three pages of awesomeness, and she made me cry and made me laugh… and Dave said his from memory and told stories of the three brothers as kids, and talked about me and Dan from his perspective as Dan’s roommate for much of our relationship. It was so heartfelt and made us both feel so loved, both by the two of them, but to know that others notice how happy we make each other.
  5. The brewhouse photos. The brewery has its own brewhouse, of course, and the vats are behind glass on a raised platform behind the bar. We got to go in there with our photographer for pictures, and it was SUPER fun, not just to get the secret tour, but also to be behind the glass above/behind the bar and wave like fools at all of our friends who were AT the bar.

So yeah. I’m riding this wave of happy like there’s no tomorrow. I knew it’d be awesome, but I honestly had no idea it would feel like this, and for that, I am infinitely, forever grateful.

Wedding Wednesday: The Final Countdown

IMG_20121117_160109

Dudes.

I don’t know what else to say. There are all sorts of things I want to tell you about, like the photos we’ve been taking and printing to have on display at the reception, or how my dress turned out in the end, or how I can’t for the life of me choose a lipstick color, or how we reluctantly ended up completely redoing our placecards….

People keep remarking on how calm I am, how I’m still able to function normally, and mostly I just laugh because I’m shocked that I’m giving off that impression. It’s not like I’m sitting here with an internal monologue like “I’m going to be the bride” on repeat, I couldn’t even tell you what’s in my head. Just that it’s like static in there.

I’ve started saying things to Dan like, “this is your last Wednesday as a single dude!” while thinking “this is my last day of work as Elizabeth T”. Ever.

It’s just all so Big. Everything is going to change, and as crazy as that is, it’s pretty much the best thing. Ever.

So. You know. Hearts and stars exploding out my eyes and ears and stuff. I’ll see you on the other side. πŸ™‚

Currents

deserted

1.52 :: stacks

muted glow

It’s been a week, that’s for sure. I guess the biggest thing about this week is that I haven’t been able to focus on anything at ALL. Friends keep assuring me this is entirely normal, but it’s a strange feeling… edgy and stressed but it’s not like normal stress where I can distract myself… but it’s a sort of vague feeling underlying everything. Antsy but not panicking. Finding myself in strange situations where I can feel meltdowns close by but am able, for perhaps the first time ever, to talk myself out of them successfully.

It’s all just very, very weird.

I got to visit the university library this week, which I enjoyed immensely. We applied for our marriage license and it was easy and so, so quick. I was trying to explain to my brother how I had expected it to be less no muss-no fuss, and he just said, “you mean no fanfare??? no trumpets???” and I laughed, but I guess when you do something as Big as that, you do secretly sort of expect balloons to fall from the metaphorical ceiling. I suppose that the metaphorical balloons fall on the actual wedding day, duh.

I’m having trouble thinking of other things to report, but mostly it comes down to a whole lot of craft projects this weekend, a wedding-related photo project that will probably get me and Dan pretty tipsy (our wedding does have a beer theme, remember), trying to decide if I want to paint my own nails this week… and yes, trying to remember to take deep breaths and to appreciate all of these anticipation-filled moments as much as possible.

The song of the week is an older one that I loved long before it was in Dan in Real Life (which I watched with my own Dan). It was a top contender for our wedding song, but it isn’t our actual wedding song. I’ll always love it, though, because I can still picture dancing with Dan and singing it with him.

Do you have the slightest idea (No, I don’t)
Why the world is bright with you here? (Oh, is that so?)
Stay a while and wait and see (wait and see)
If things go right we’re meant to be

Oh, what a world this life would be
Forget all your technicolor dreams
Forget modern nature
This is how itΒ΄s meant to be

Wedding Wednesday: Tidbits

  • trying to remember to keep taking deep breaths
  • realizing the hugeness that is our project to write our own vows
  • irrationally afraid that I’ll break my arm in the next 11 days
  • looking forward to visiting Grandmother tomorrow (she said she has something for me for the wedding; what could it be?)
  • belatedly (too latedly) wondering if I should have planned to get myself a sweater or wrap or bolero or something
  • grinning when I realize I can actually start to picture everything coming together
  • still amazed at how no big deal it was to apply for our marriage license today
  • kind of tired of driving all over the county to find the random things we need
  • marveling at the fact that we can say “our wedding is next week”
  • figuring it’s probably time to write the lists of what we need to bring to the brewery for the reception (and what I need to pack to bring to the hotel for the rehearsal and the wedding itself)
  • hoping I can handle being the temporary guardian of several important “something old” and “something borrowed”s.
  • living in fear of the day the ten day forecast becomes available
  • feeling a lot calmer than I thought I would at this stage in the game
  • secretly trying on my wedding band in the evenings
  • trying to get used to my new name but feeling silly practicing my soon-to-be signature
  • gathering photos for my makeup and hair trials on Friday
  • anticipating a weekend of crafts and diy projects
  • really just in disbelief and amazement that this is all really happening.

Currents

third sunset

good morning

Project Life 2012: The End

stripey fails are still fails

IMG_20130104_082603

This week was kind of a roller coaster. I should probably get used to it. The university is deserted, so being back at work is strange; frozen tumbleweeds tumbling down streets… and yet I’m here and stressing about some work projects that are overdue. I didn’t write a Wedding Wednesday post this week because it was hard to come up with a specific topic. Mostly because we’re in crunch time now; my mom described it as feeling like you’re being squeezed with every day that ticks off the countdown, because the to do list stays the same and the time is just shriiiiinking.

We have had our master to do list, but it turns out that rewriting and re-prioritizing it helped IMMENSELY. As did writing three other to do lists (things to buy, things to design/print at home, prints to order) and more focused lists (like “guest book assembly”). At this stage in the game, when every person I see is all “Aren’t you so! excited!!!????” and I’m awkwardly mumbling, “yeah uhh well yes? except there’s so much left to dooooo, there’s no time to be excited yet”, it seems that I need to have every single thing written down. If it’s not all written out in my notebook, I start to feel panicked. So, I’m writing and rewriting the same lists.

We are getting things done, though, and truly, the things that remain are not huge (other than the seating chart/place cards, which we can’t do until we have our final meeting – this afternoon – at the brewery. That whole non-traditional “who wants a ballroom with round tables for 10 centered around a square dance floor, anyway? The brewery’s layout is so unique!” scoff doesn’t feel as cool when you’re fielding endless questions from the florist about how long/wide the tables are, when you don’t even know how MANY we’ll need, let alone how many people will be at each one or how long they will be). Lots of little, fussy projects, like buying a unity candle, making menu cards, designing and assembling the guest book and table numbers, figuring out what my something blue is….

In other news, it has been SO cold and windy this week. My hair sticks up straight with static thanks to the fake fur hood on my winter coat, my hands are insanely dry (but I found hand lotion that I really like, for once) and the world’s supply of rock salt is in our parking lot. I may have had to turn in my hipster membership club card, but the sweater uggs I got for Christmas are SO cozy and I don’t care. All I want to do is convince Dan to eat burritos every night (but that might conflict a bit with my final dress fitting in less than a week). I just want to try to keep away from the edge of “not actually holding it together” and stay right here, where I feel edgy but not crazed. So I’m going to gaze happily at my bright red shellac manicure and the hot pink post-it heart I stuck to our wedding day on my Stendig calendar, think about the wedding idea Dan told me last night that would really rock, allow myself lots of diet coke, let myself to put down the to do lists and relax sometimes, and hope for the best.

Here’s the song for the week, “Love of the Light” by Mumford and Sons, obviously because of the “to have and to hold” bit. The video itself is pretty fantastic, once you figure out the twist.

so love the one you hold
and I’ll be your gold
to have and to hold

Project Life: the end of 2012

Guys, deciding to just start Project Life way back in June was the best decision ever. I’m so glad that I stuck with it, and I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to look back at the year, to show the album to friends and family, and to finally have an easy way to save all this stuff I’d be saving anyway. I’ve printed more photos this year (at home!) than ever before, and it’s just great. Here are my last two weeks of the year, using more of the pieces from Kelly Purkey‘s December kit:

Week 31 was actually only four days, but I knew I’d want to document them pretty fully.

Project Life 2012: The End

Project Life 2012: The End
(don’t mind the hearts; working on a craft project that is meant to be a gift and don’t want to spoil it yet).

Project Life 2012: The End
I used the vellum envelope in Kelly’s kit to include some gift tags, wrapping paper scraps, and ribbon. It probably contributes to this binder overflowing, but I don’t care.

Project Life 2012: The End

And finally, week 32, which had more Christmas celebrations, New Years, and our bachelor and bachelorette parties:
Project Life 2012: The End

Project Life 2012: The End

Project Life 2012: The End

Here’s a look at the end page:
Project Life 2012: The End
I had the D&E and bokeh photo printed from months ago, and just never used them, and they fit pretty perfectly here. The & is cut from a Crate & Barrel bag I’ve been saving. I printed up the other two cards using Photoshop, just as a quick and easy summary of the year (even though the album starts in June).

I never actually posted a photo of my title page:
Project Life 2012: The End
because the top “Summer 2012” was the only thing there until this week. The Love this Life card was a freebie from Becky Higgins’s blog, and the badges are from Ormolu.

I may have squeezed just a tad more into one binder than was necessary, but I love love LOVE this project and I really can’t wait for 2013!
Project Life 2012: The End

So This is the New Year

Somehow, 2012 was both awesome and difficult. It will forever go down as the year we got engaged and planned our wedding, the year my sister and Dan’s sister got married, the year of the hurricane, the year I went back to my old job. Big Change and Life Events together manage to be super exciting and super stressful at the same time, and it has been hard, sometimes, to focus on the fun parts instead of being weighed down by the nitty gritty details and compromises and maybe you can’t always have it the way you wants, and no you can’t know everything in advance.

So 2012 was crazy and exactly what I expected and yet not what I expected at all. It was kind of exhausting, to be honest. I’m not really all that sad to see it go, mostly because I really, really can’t wait for the things that 2013 has in store.

Starting the year off by marrying Dan is so impossible to conceptualize and wait wait I need more time and also I can’t WAIT for it to be here.

I felt compelled this year for the first time ever to jump on the “one little word” bandwagon. At the end of an exhausting year, having an intention for this new year feels important to me. I signed up for Ali Edwards’s One Little Word class, and I’m really looking forward to it. I chose moment for 2013 – to remind me to pause, to be in the moment, to really savor the momentous things 2013 has in store. It has been too easy this past year to let myself focus on the stress, on the tired, on the “when will my time be mine again?”. I know that things may not ACTUALLY slow down for us this year, with house hunting and who knows what else on our horizon, but I’m looking forward to figuring out what our new normal will be. And to making an effort to enjoy all of the big and little moments 2013 may bring.

Happy, happy new year, dudes.

Books: 2012

  1. Secrets to a Healthy Metabolism by Barbara Emmerich
  2. Dreamland Social Club by Tara Altebrando
  3. The Book of Tomorrow by Cecelia Ahern*
  4. Divergent by Veronica Roth
  5. The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick
  6. Sarah’s Key by Tatiana deRosnay*
  7. Winter Ghosts by Kate Mosse*
  8. Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
  9. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer*
  10. New Moon by Stephenie Meyer*
  11. Digital Fortress by Dan Brown*
  12. Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer*
  13. An Off Year by Claire Zulkey
  14. Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer*
  15. At Home by Bill Bryson*
  16. Birthright by Nora Roberts
  17. The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach*
  18. 13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson
  19. My Name is Memory by Ann Brashares
  20. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
  21. Every Day by David Leviathan

Well. Let’s just start off by saying I didn’t even come CLOSE to hitting my goal of reading 45 books (and three classics) during 2012. I know that reading almost two books a month is a perfectly acceptable amount of reading to do in a year. Especially a year in which I had a two+ hour daily commute for 8 months, and oh yeah that whole planning a wedding business. (Having a tv in the bedroom during 2012 also really cut into my before-bed reading time.) In the 8 years that I’ve been keeping track of my reading each year here on the blog, I’ve read 23 books, 24 books, 51 books, 44 books, 40 books, 57(!) books, 52 books, and 21 books. My average, then, is 39, but I’ve read a total of 312 books since the beginning of 2005. In these 8 years, I’ve read the Harry Potter series and the Game of Thrones series all the way through twice each (and I actually thought those numbers would be higher, to be honest).

Even though there are good reasons, I can’t also say that I’m not disappointed in my reading this year. Almost half of the books were audiobooks, and it’s not like I’m proud to have finally read all of the Twilight books (even if they kept me engaged during my long commutes for many, many weeks). The best books of the year were by FAR Night Circus and Divergent, which I’d recommend so highly. I really loved the Art of Fielding, too, and Gone Girl was good if a little … bleak for my taste.

Still, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t have a reading goal for 2013. I definitely want to get back to reading like a fiend, even if it’ll take a little adjusting. My goal is to get back up to my average, and read 39 books. I will read at least one classic that’s new to me, and at least 5 novels meant for adults (as opposed to YA, and mass market fiction like Nora Roberts definitely doesn’t count). Here’s to the new year, and lots of new books!

In Previous Years…
Books Read in 2011
Books Read in 2010
Books Read in 2009
Books Read in 2008
Books Read in 2007
Books Read in 2006
Books Read in 2005