(Pregnant) Confessions

(Confessions One) (Confessions Two) (Confessions Three) (Confessions Four) (Confessions Five)

  • I still feel guilty that I didn’t really have any morning sickness.
  • I didn’t have a magical moment when the + showed up on the test after which I was consumed with love for my unborn baby. It was something a little more like stunned disbelief.
  • I still feel mostly gobsmacked by the whole thing.
  • I spend a lot of time thinking about ice cream and seasonal Reese’s peanut butter cups. (Seasonal ones have a much better peanut butter to chocolate ratio.)
  • I’m inordinately terrified that my feet will swell and never go back to their original size. Size ten is PLENTY large enough, baby. (Think of all the converse!!!)
  • I don’t seem to be having stereotypical cravings, but obsessions with certain foodstuffs that burn hot and fast, and after they’re over, I want NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with said foodstuff. (The now-unappealing list includes pumpkin squash ravioli frozen dinners and strawberry Newtons, most notably).
  • In the last week, the baby’s kicks have gone from gentle little rumbles to shockingly strong actual KICKS that often make me gasp out loud. But the new strength means Dan felt one from the outside for the first time, and that was kinda amazing.
  • I’m still caught off guard by people being extra kind and taking care of me (when my sister- and brother-in-law each grabbed an elbow walking through an icy parking lot; when a friend walked me back from lunch to make sure I got past all the ice safely). Not because it’s weird that they’d be nice, but more that I forget, a little, that I need to be 50x more careful.
  • I am surprised that I haven’t had too many overly emotional sobfests (which is not to say that I haven’t had any). I have been SUPER irritable, though.
  • I really, really, really miss beer.
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8 thoughts on “(Pregnant) Confessions

  1. Truth be told, I never had a magical moment where I fell in love with Olivia. It just happened gradually for me, and there’s been no turning back. I’ve spoke to some other parents who felt the same way. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

    Big high fives on the Reese’s seasonals nod, you’re totally right about that ratio. Oh, and beer says hello and that it’s patiently waiting for your return. Don’t worry though, I’ve been keeping it company just fine ;)

  2. I did not know this about seasonal Reese’s! I shall have to acquire some asap!
    I too never felt overwhelmed with love. I felt just plain overwhelmed and nervous and shocked. Like for the whole time. And I don’t think I felt that instant super-connection when they were born, either–I was in awe and loved them, but it wasn’t like what I read about how it was “supposed” to be. Also I was super tired and out of it at first, so maybe that was a factor. :)

    • seasonal Reese’s are the BEST. they do eggs at easter, pumpkins at halloween, trees at Christmas, and hearts for valentine’s day. (or, you know, the always available “Big Cups” get the same double peanut butter ratio that is so awesome).

      and thank you for the affirmation that the instant connection thing isn’t true for everyone. i wonder if it’ll be different when the actual baby is here, of course, but for now, it’s just so hard to really believe it’s happening (belly or not!) that it’s hard to get to that next part :)

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