Currents

deserted

1.52 :: stacks

muted glow

It’s been a week, that’s for sure. I guess the biggest thing about this week is that I haven’t been able to focus on anything at ALL. Friends keep assuring me this is entirely normal, but it’s a strange feeling… edgy and stressed but it’s not like normal stress where I can distract myself… but it’s a sort of vague feeling underlying everything. Antsy but not panicking. Finding myself in strange situations where I can feel meltdowns close by but am able, for perhaps the first time ever, to talk myself out of them successfully.

It’s all just very, very weird.

I got to visit the university library this week, which I enjoyed immensely. We applied for our marriage license and it was easy and so, so quick. I was trying to explain to my brother how I had expected it to be less no muss-no fuss, and he just said, “you mean no fanfare??? no trumpets???” and I laughed, but I guess when you do something as Big as that, you do secretly sort of expect balloons to fall from the metaphorical ceiling. I suppose that the metaphorical balloons fall on the actual wedding day, duh.

I’m having trouble thinking of other things to report, but mostly it comes down to a whole lot of craft projects this weekend, a wedding-related photo project that will probably get me and Dan pretty tipsy (our wedding does have a beer theme, remember), trying to decide if I want to paint my own nails this week… and yes, trying to remember to take deep breaths and to appreciate all of these anticipation-filled moments as much as possible.

The song of the week is an older one that I loved long before it was in Dan in Real Life (which I watched with my own Dan). It was a top contender for our wedding song, but it isn’t our actual wedding song. I’ll always love it, though, because I can still picture dancing with Dan and singing it with him.

Do you have the slightest idea (No, I don’t)
Why the world is bright with you here? (Oh, is that so?)
Stay a while and wait and see (wait and see)
If things go right we’re meant to be

Oh, what a world this life would be
Forget all your technicolor dreams
Forget modern nature
This is how itยดs meant to be

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